Are you spending your lifetime people pleasing??? You know, always being there for others needs at a drop of the hat, conforming to others expectations, saying yes to people or situations that you wished you hadn’t, being a person that you don’t necessarily vibe with???
If you’re saying yes to the above, then you have become a people pleaser…
The sad thing about becoming a people pleaser is that you lose yourself along the way all because at a core level you are seeking acceptance, approval, love & support through channels that are not as invested in your wellbeing as you are…
We hear of the mantra “consciously create the life you desire”, yet how many decision do you make a day that you are even conscious in the process… Not many I’m guessing… A lot of the time we operate from a robotic emotionally removed space when you make decisions on autopilot mode…
You usually wake to an alarm, feet hit the floor and its go go go… You go through the motion of your day almost unconscious to the choices you are making and wonder why 3 month, or even 6 months down the road your life is not what you desire and become questionable to the mantra above wondering why is there no visible signs of living life on my terms, or living the life you desire…
That is because we have become a society that has become accustomed to being emotionally removed until something either triggers a conscious choice or you reach breaking point and want or even demand radical change to happen…
This becomes those defining moments where you become conscious… Conscious of your choices & the decision you make about you wellbeing and overall life you seek… You make over 100 choices a day; how different would your life look like if you truly became present in your decision… What transformation would transpire from this simple act of consciously choosing how you want to feel on a consistent basis…
Here Are #3 Simple Way To Become More Conscious and Actually Start Living A Life You Desire… It All Begins With You…
#1… Mindfulness
Throughout your day bring an awareness to all choices & decision… Before agreeing to anything check in with yourself first by asking “is this right for me”, or “does this bring me happiness” … By asking the questions requires the mind to consider the actually question before the demand of what someone else may need… Placing your needs a priority rather than an afterthought…
This very simple question will enable you to consider the if ‘YES’ you do want to do xyz or ‘NO’ it doesn’t… This becomes the crossroad of creating change that you seek… You take your personal power back and become present about your needs…
Considering you first… YES… You first… Now there is no denying that certain situations especially around family or work that requires a compromise to this line of direction, but that does not mean that you could not offer suggestions that could ultimately benefit both parties…If you think that there is another way to reach an outcome, stand up and voice your opinion…
People pleasing is about losing your voice, as if your opinion doesn’t matter… It’s time to break that cycle and allow others into your internal world through communicating what your thoughts are… Not conforming, yet opening your creative channels to propose alternative choices that may not have been considered before…
#2… Guilt Free
As you begin to take new steps forward, it’s natural to at first feel empowered, but sometimes that can quickly turn to feeling consumed by guilt… Why??? Because you start thinking that as you’re saying no to others & you’re not accustomed to that…And can bring up some deep emotions to the surface…
We are a culture that has been programmed to believe that saying yes to you is selfish… A new beginning is upon us all where new beliefs are developing around self-care…
These old limiting beliefs about self-care is now a thing of the past… To change a belief you must first adopt a new perception…
Here is a mantra that I used in the conception phase of forming a new belief around self-care…
By reframing your thoughts around saying no to others what you are crafting is a new way of thinking & feeling… Because the reality is, that which you are designing is a new level of acceptance, approval, love & support from yourself…
Notice how you are generating the very thing you were seeking outside yourself from others for, you are now giving to yourself… Hence this removes the emotions attached to guilt…
#3 New Ways Of Being
As you build a solid new foundation from which you can consciously create the life you desire, not everyone will be as happy for you as you will be…
Remember you cannot change the thoughts of others, yet you can choose to how you respond to it… As you evolve not everyone in your circle will grow with you, and that’s ok… Your journey is designed for you and although this can be a sad moment when you move away from the old and embrace a new way of being, know this… If the people in your world are apart of your journey, then they will celebrate & support you no matter what…
Everything you ever seek is within… You have the power to give yourself anything you desire, first you must connect inwards… Acceptance, Approval, Love & Support are some of the most beautiful gifts you can give to yourself… When you hand over that which you seek at a core level, this ultimately leaves you open to disappointment… This is when you can truly understand the importance of your decision & what you are needing to feel from them, that you can grasp the concept that it is YOU that can give you that… Powerful insight…
You are now on the pathway to consciously creating the life you desire…
Much Love
Rachael xx